Yes, I have gain weight! (and no, i'm not happy about it!)

I know I should not feel like I need to address this issue because it's pretty personal and none of my lovely readers and subscribers have mentioned it to me, but i'm pretty sure you have all noticed that I have put weight on. I have actually put loads of weight on  (i'm not going to get into numbers because that would be over sharing) but it's safe to say I have put weight on, big time.

I'm not really going to go into the reason as to why, I think it was just a case of being really busy and not being as controlled as I normally would be that have caused the pounds to pile on. I have spent pretty much my hole life watching my weight and it does tent to fluctuate,but I feel like because when I started out on YouTube I was much slimmer, I now feel a little ashamed because I have put the weight on. I know that sounds really silly, but I feel like being in the "public eye" (ie, on YouTube) I do owe you a small explanation because i'm sure you have all been wondering but are all to kind to say so. Actually let me reword that, because some lovely guy on twitter recently had told me I need to lose weight (well he actually said I should loose weight, so we won't count that as he can't spell) and a few viewers on YouTube have left me comments saying what's up with weight loss and in a way, I wish I had never shared that side of me on my channel because I know feel I have failed people by letting myself go a little because I have been very public about my weight battles but that ship has sailed because I am what I like to call a "YouTube over-sharer" meaning, I find it hard to keep my mouth shut!

My weigh does effect me in most areas on my life, and YT is no exception because I can record a video, and then look back at it and think "Oh god I look huge" and it will bug me because i'm afraid someone will point it out, and that is also the main reason I am not doing many OTTD videos because I just don't feel comfortable and the weight also means that my fashion choices are not as chic as I would normally go for.

At this point you must be thinking "if your that down about, get off your ass woman!" and you would not be wrong. I am dealing with it and I KNOW I will lose the weight and feel better about myself but I also need to point out that i'm not really really upset by it because I don't feel down all the time, it's just every now and then......and it will change, I assure you. 


  1. I honestly didn't realise, i think you look fabulous regardless. As you said everyones weight fluctuates, god help me i'm a yo-yo! As long as your happy we are happy! xxxx

  2. You shouldn't have to feel responsible to your viewers/readers. You're lovely either way, and less people notice than you think. My weight fluctuates, but when I stop weighing myself things tend to go better. Just focus on being happy and healthy! xx

  3. I agree with the two girls above!! The more you worry about it (or unimportant things in life, really) the worse it is. It becomes a heavy burden to carry, literally. Relax, enjoy life, go after what really matters to you and your weight will be back to its normal healthy number. And please, don't forget about us! We love you, Avia!!

  4. First of all,you're not huge! :) And please sweetie,don't feel like you have "failed people",because you haven't. If anything,I think your honesty on that subject actually helps a lot of people,including me! We all let ourselves go from time to time, and what you "teach" us with your honesty (or over-sharing as you call it) is that the important thing is how we choose to deal with moments like that. I can't tell you how much you've helped me with your tips,advice and honesty (I keep repeating that lol!
    Rude people will always say rude things, but in my opinion you look as beautiful now as you did before. And I think that's why most ppl don't make comments about your weight ;) xx

    1. Thank you darling, i'm glad you see it that way!

  5. Your gorgeous and so nice too! Enough said! x x

  6. Your gorgeous! Hope your weight loss goes well!

  7. Avia, you lovely and stunning girl, don't be hard on yourself. Never feel like you're "failing" your viewers, don't you see how much we love you? I live in a different country, across an ocean, and you have changed my life! You've impacted me in ways I never thought possible for somebody I've never actually met. You inspired me to get myself together. I can't even express how happier, more confident, brighter, and positive I am since finding your videos. I'm not a mess anymore! I am finally the person I've always wanted to be... And that's because of you. I know you may not be feeling the best about yourself right now, as the last paragraph suggests, but I just not only want you to know I have faith in you, but that I hope in some way you read this and see just how much I appreciate you and that it makes you at the very least smile. Thank you so much Miss Sparklicious! (:

  8. I didn't notice and you haven't let anyone down...your weight doesnt define anything about you! It is just a number and we all have our times but just because you lose weight not everything is going to sort it self out. You don't have to do this for us cause honestly, most of us don't care (and i mean that in a nice way haha) if you lose or gain weight we just love watching your videos and reading your posts because you are so..you!!!! Don't do this for anyone but yourself and dont feel bad about it! There is not one perfect body or way to look!

  9. Hey, you should just make your focus on eating healthy unprocessed vegan foods and being healthy. I had a look at some daily eating posts and you were simply eating NOTHING - this is why people can't sustain that eating.
    I've had my fair share og weight gain/loss. At my heaviest I was 91kg, at my lighted 67kg, I'm probably around 73kg now I don't really know since I won't weight myself anymore (and getting back to my goal weight of 65kg - when i feel "right") - I'm 174cm tall. Each time i regained a little weight back, i was more confident with my body than what i was when I was lighter (looking back to pictures and thinking how thin i was, but at the time thinking I was fat). I went through a phase of going to the gym for 3 hours a day for months. I lost a bit of weight but i was using so many calories that i ate them all back and didn't lose! You have to do what's sustainable and manageable for you. Eat lots of fruit, veggies and brown rice and other whole grains(oats/barley) some seeds and nuts (not too much).
    start posting your daily food intake, keep track of it.

  10. Hey,
    I don't think I was eating an unsustainable diet or eating nothing, it was down to other reason that I mention in the post...I also don't believe in eating a vegan diet, I don't eat meat, but I do think it's important to eat dairy.

    Thanks for commenting!